


Lethe

by orphan_account



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol, Character Death, Depression, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Mild Smut, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-10
Updated: 2016-08-10
Packaged: 2018-08-07 21:45:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7730896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been a while since it happened and no one understand how badly it still eats at McCree. Jesse only has one wish, to make the memories of him stop.  (I suck at everything :))</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lethe

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first actual fanfiction so I apologize in advanced if it's a.Horrible or b.Has more mistakes than my entire life. Comment if you'd like. Thanks for your time c; .

Jesse drank for a lot of reasons.

Jesse could find himself drinking in troubling times, when life wasn’t dealing him the hands he wanted or he was just feeling downright unlucky. Other times he would drink in celebration. A successful mission in Russia, another agent’s birthday, even to memories of better times with the company of some of his closest companions. 

But sometimes Jesse would drink to forget. The burn of a hard drink was sometimes all McCree needed to make it through a night. But no matter how much he drank he never really forgot. Memories scorched his mind like a never ending inferno, all the things he thought he had pushed back were never actually far from the vanguard of his mind. 

Whiskey was always his first medication when the infliction would strike. A few shots here and there lead to an empty glass bottle and a locked dorm room so no one would find out what was keeping him up. His vision blurry, his hands shaking, he moved on to his next dosage. Vodka promised to be the amnesia he needed, but it was always just bark, never bite. He could throw up all he wanted, but his mind never emptied in unison. And if Vodka didn’t work, it was anything he could find to numb his pain.

Alcohol was nothing more than the river Lethe that had lost it’s power every appointment he made with it. 

McCree would never forget the day in Illios he had learned of the fabled river’s power. To wipe one’s memory completely… To ensure one never remembered again. God he would pray for the real deal every time he found himself in this pathetic state. 

But what was McCree trying to forget? No, the Question was always who. 

Tattoo’s and bows, black hair and sarcasm, he only tried to forget one man. From his wild raven hair to his nimble feet, Hanzo would never leave Jesse alone. Hanzo haunted his memories like a disturbed spirit wanting the world to know he existed. 

The two were nothing more than two pawns in a mission to anyone in Overwatch, none were the wiser. But behind closed doors and under the nose of Athena’s security system they were much closer. Romeo and Juliet with an imaginary conflict, they hid their relationship well, which meant that it would always try to reach the light, even in death.

Hands on hips and lips on skin, their passion was a secret. In the shadow’s of comradery they were lovers.   
“They must never find out what we do in this room” Hanzo had made a habit of saying each time they met for a rendezvous. McCree was always too weak with lust to ever complain so it always stayed that way.

Another Drink.

Hanzo tasted sweet. He would never forget the tang of sweat and flesh as he tasted every inch of skin on the archer. The man would moan and moan and it would always make it sweeter. The grunts of sexual frustration as they explored each other’s bodies invaded his senses. Hanzo was other worldly. Beyond McCree’s understanding as they would grind on each other in hushed moans, always wary of how much attention they attracted.  
Another Drink

Jesse wish he could forget how he felt every time he pumped into Hanzo’s body. Bliss and lust and love and frustration all merging in his mind to overload his brain. Every thrust he wanted to tear up and every time he came he felt like he was in paradise. Hanzo’s body was a temple he could never wait to make a pilgrimage to. 

One more drink.

And how would he ever forget the rush he felt every time their secret was on the verge of becoming public. Every glance they got as they undressed each other with their eyes gave him goose bumps. Every time they would forget it was between them and flirt a little too much in front of their friends and allies. Oh god it was such an addicting game to dance around the other’s backs, doing something they know should never have happened. Fervor and addiction were the same word between the two and McCree never wanted to get an intervention. He was so happy with Hanzo.

Another Drink.

But the thing he would never be able to cleanse from his head is when it ended. When Hanzo ripped paradise away from him. McCree would never forgive Hanzo for requesting to be on that mission. McCree would never forgive Hanzo for telling him everything would go perfectly. And McCree would never forgive Hanzo for sacrificing his life for an old mistake like himself.

He didn’t even know it was happening until it was too late. The blood he never saw, the cries of the archer he never heard, the feeling of anguish he would never get over.   
Months after it happened he would still never be able to answer his own questions. 

When did that Talon agent get behind me?

When did that Column start falling?

Why was Hanzo ready to die for me?

 

He would never get closure, only pain. He would never receive his happiness, only sorry glances from people who never knew what they really had. He had taken Hanzo’s death the hardest and no one knew why. No one could comfort him for the right reasons. No one could understand the pain of watching the one person you love get crushed to death saving your stupid ass. Oh god did it hurt. Oh god did he just want to forget the look on Hanzo’s face as he breathed his last.

Why was he happy?

Another drink. 

Oh god was Hanzo happy about his actions. Did he want to die? Did he remember a fucking joke? Was he happy about the exchange of life? Oh god he wanted to forget.

So McCree would fucking pray. McCree would fucking pray that he would find the river lethe and drown in it. That he would forget everything they had, and everything he had become since it ended. But he knows he never will. 

So Jesse drinks. 

Jesse drinks a lot.

Jesse drinks to numb a hard day's work, or his blue feelings after an unlucky streak and the casino.

Jesse drinks to celebrate when he completes a mission or when a new agent joins. 

But most importantly of all, Jesse drink’s to forget Hanzo.


End file.
